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I had a dream that I was lost in a library; it had spiral staircases and tiny ladders with goblins wearing spectacles, they were dusting the highest shelves. I sat in a big red velvet armchair reading every book that I could find about myths and tales, until the guard told me that it was closing time, “don’t you have a home to go to miss?”, I yawned sleepily and glanced at the big grandfather clock, it was two minutes to ten.
I am not a believer in hope but it sometimes comes in wisps and strays, I am going to begin a pebble jar, just like Stargirl, and maybe one day it will become full of mermaid tear pebbles.
I want to see Paris lit up at night time, sit with my sketchbook in the Musée du Louvre, and take photographs of the Eiffel Tower, see Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens, dance under the moon and constellations at Stonehenge, stay up all night at a music festival in a far away country, sing in a band, but I think I am much too shy, and there is no room in his band for a girl, leave sweet words for strangers sat on lonely park benches, go and see the The Nutcracker and take ballet lessons too, I used to dance when I was five, I think most little girls did, and Swan Lake and La Bayadère at the Royal Opera House, I think I would cry over how beautiful they both are, find an old music box and suitcases, and my very own Pan god, I will be your nymph, I promise.
Visit Glastonbury with its pretty bookshops, and abbey and gardens, make my hair the colour of the palest moons, kiss boys with smudged eye liner and tattoos and muscled arms, and buy that copy of East of the Sun, West of the Moon, with illustrations by Kay Nielsen, that I have always wanted, and my best friend and I will travel to London in September and dress as Viking girls for the band, and look around art universities. I want to take the bus to Portobello road and buy vintage black lace and antique books, and this year I will move away from home, share a tiny house with a few girls or boys, and we will have so many lovely days, and if we feel sad, we will watch Picnic at Hanging Rock, Girl, Interrupted and the Virgin Suicides, and old horror films too, we can hide our hearts for just one day, and tomorrow when the sun wakes up I will go for a walk with my camera on the lonely five a m roads.
♥ | faeries at the bottom of the garden